Abduction

Every so often I like to treat myself to a truly awful action movie.

Just to keep myself honest.

There's something that extremely stimulating about a bad action movie to me. Not only because of the "I'm going to make fun of this until the sun sets", but also because it inspires me in my own writings.

I would love to write bad action movies when I grow up.

But I digress. On to the movie.

Thus, we see the bad action movie in its natural habitat.

Everything. Everything about this movie save for some actually legit fight scenes courtesy of Taylor Lautner, everything about this movie was done poorly. Even the title has nothing to do with the actual plotline. No one gets abducted. There is no real truth to be revealed. The female protagonist was a whimpering do nothing that literally had nothing to do but get into trouble so the man character had to come save her.

But what really gets me in the lack of emotional development of these characters. The main kid's "parents" die...right in front of him and there is literally no mourning time before he suddenly grows super secret agent powers and takes down the bad guys of the mysterious government agency that his "parents" were apart of.

Also, the ending was thoroughly unsatisfying. There is a special place in movie hell for movies that sacrifice quality resolution to shove in the opening to make a sequel. Drives me nuts.

I think where it mostly went wrong was the screenplay itself. The casting was not actually that bad, believe it or not, but the structure from which this project was made was thoroughly unsteady at best.

All in all, two hours of my life I will never get back.

It was great.

Baby Cat Films

Baby Cat Films, a set on Flickr.

My cat (aptly named The Baby Cat) likes to watch movies with me. He has some strong opinions

Slither

You know, as I perused the videos that I was thinking about renting, I must have passed over this one about 100 times.

This remains a very huge mistake of my youth.

This movie is a fantastic throwback monster movie. A zombie flick with true originality and spiced with just enough humor to make it interesting, it remains one of my favorite zombie movies of all time.

The plot centers around a small town in the south. Invaded by alien worms that need a host body, thus turning the population of a planet into slaves to its will. It's up to this small town's Sheriff and a few of the citizens to save the world from this worm creature.

Grotesque realism and delicious gore galore, this movie is a must-see for comedy and horror fans alike.

One piece of advice: Don't watch it while eating anything. This is a grave mistake you will not soon forget.

I'm Just Very Excited

Just a friendly reminder that Iron Man 3 is filming in North Carolina

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I'm just very excited. 

Anyway, that's all I had to say. Carry on.

I Have To

In the light of all the press surrounding the recent Twilight Saga, I feel it is my duty as a film blog to at least mention it.

Now, most of you by now have learned that I very much abhor these films. I couldn't ultimately care less about the books, but that's neither here nor there. I feel like the films are terrible enough, but also harmful to the young girls to which they are marketed. I feel that this this article from NPR Arts & Life section sums it up nicely.

Whoo, mention over. Glad that's done.

Warm Bodies

Okay, I don't usually do this, but I am very excited about this movie.

It's called Warm Bodies and it looks to help with my romance craving while simultaneously be my personal celebration to the ending of the Twilight franchise.

A lot to put on one movie, I realize, but I'm an optimist.

Likeable main characters, a female protagonist that I might actually engage with, really great looking special effects, and not to mention the kind of dark humor that I can't get enough of. I have to admit, this trailer has me hooked.

Whether I'm saying the same thing after I see it has yet to be seen.

I am quite fickle in that manner.

Show the Ladies Some Love

I think we have established from previous posts that I am a comic book fan. A long-suffering female comic book fan, but a fan nonetheless. There are certain things with female story arcs that I have had to grin and bear since I picked up my first Spider-man comic when I was 10.

Lately I have been really enthusiastic about the new Avengers franchise. The first movie was astounding and I'm really looking forward to seeing what comes out of the studios in the next few years. Whether it be Iron Man 3, Thor 2: The Dark World, Captain America: The Winter soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy, or eventually Avengers 2.

Then Marvel announced this.

An Ant-Man- movie? Really? Out of all the *cough* female *cough* Avengers they could have chosen to be the subject of their own film (ex. Ms. Marvel, She-Hulk, Tigra, Spider Woman), they had to choose the dude that changes size and talks to ants?

Granted, I've been wrong before about such things. The Iron Man movie chief among them. And handled correctly, I'm sure that it could be a great film, but I am tired time and again for female characters in any franchise not getting a fair shake. Is a female action hero such an oddity? Why can no one seem to make these kind of things work?

I look forward to this, loyal readers. A day when women aren't overlooked in the action movie industry.

Spring Awakening Revisited

If you'll recall in earlier posts, I mentioned a local production of the musical blockbuster Spring Awakening. Being unbiased about this production will not be easy, but in the days following closing night, I find myself feeling strongly about it, so I hope you'll allow me a few brief words.

The fantastic cast and crew I had the pleasure of working with was, of course, stellar. The music was incredible, fast paced when it needed to be and heartfelt when the need arose.

But I feel like there were quite a few things wrong with the script.

The text was adapted from a banned German play of the same name for the same subject matter. The story had a divergence that I'm not sure knew what it was trying to say. The character of Moritz comes to a tragic end after not having much character development in the first place. Melchior preaches about sexual education, but has dubious sexual consent sex in the hayloft with someone he supposedly cares about? Some of the characters on stage had no real storyline, just random bouts of shock value that I just couldn't engage with. The adults seemed like they were an afterthought and I think the decision to make them all played by two actors is a confusing and poor one.

In summary, great production (aside from myself), good music, but woefully poor play constitution.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

I think it's time now to pay homage to one of my favorite movies of all time. A film that I could watch over and over again and still not get tired of.

Yeah, I know I've said that before, but this is my blog and I'm feeling sentimental.

Anyway, the film I'm talking about is the film noir tribute entitled Kiss Kiss Bang Bang(2006)

A sordid tale of the more than slightly flustered Harry Lockhart, a small-time crook off the Hollywood for his big break. There he meets Gay Perry, a consultant, and his long lost love Harmony. Together they uncover the murder of a Los Angeles socialite that goes to the highest of the Hollywood elite.

With extraordinarily developed characters and an incredibly intricate plot, not to mention enough great dark humor to shake a stick at, this film is and always will be a permanent part of my video collection.

There. Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

Holiday Movie

I think, as the Jack-O-Lanterns slowly turn in on themselves and resemble one of my relatives that told me about what it was like during The  Great Depression, this is a great time to talk about favorite holiday movies. I think a favorite of mine would have to be the tried-and true favorite: The Nightmare before Christmas.

Not only does this movie no longer scare the crap out of me like it did when I was a child, but the characters and likable and the music is very well done. Also, I think it qualifies really well as both a Halloween and  Christmas tradition, so it's topical for months at a time.

So what do you think, loyal readers? Any holiday favorites you would like to share?